God and a girl

My chains are gone, Ive been set free! My God, my savior has ransomed me.....



In the past week I have experienced normalness (yes i know that is not actually a word) complete brokenheartedness, pain, joy, and Finding God once again! My last post I mentioned that I had a huge concern about how I was going to deal with meeting the wife of the man I had an affair with. Well......it went horrably! I couldnt stop crying and ran away when I first met her. I went back later when I had calmed down but felt like a knife had been stabbed inside of me as I watched him hug her and completely ignore me when I would speak. The next day I decided to have a talk with, umm......we will just call him phil, and he wasnt interested in even maintaining a conversation with me. Wait! rewind a bit...

I had wanted to tell phil's wife the truth for many months but hadn't decided when or how. Well...that night after phil treated me like air I just felt the urge to tell his wife the truth... so I did. Was it to get revenge for the way I was treated???? Not really no. Was it because I wanted to end their marriage??? NO WAY! I just felt that it was what I needed to do to be able to move on and to help me heal. I was right. As soon as I recieved her responce on my phone I felt like I had been set free! Though I was shaking and about to puke I felt like I had done the right thing.

She told me that she wasnt surprised...he had done that to her before. Though she was extremely hurt by it she told me that night, in person the next day, and again by text that she is so thankful I told her the truth and was honist with her. I cryed....I cryed a lot. I cryed tears of pain and hurt and anger and frustration and I cryed out to God and asked him for forgiveness. I told him that I needed his help to get through this and that I needed his guidence to lead me in whatever was going to happen next. I was scared that I had made a HUGE mistake!

I told my dad, mom, 3 closest friends, and a couple coworkers about what I had done.....all of them except for 1 told me I had done the right thing! That they were proud of me for taking that brave step. Since this has happened, though it still stresses me out to the point where I can only hold down one meal a day, I have a huge sence of Joy inside of me. I feel so filled with the holy spirit, and I feel like my chains have been broken and I have been set free! Its amazing!!!!

Unfortunately Phil is so furious with me that im scared for my safety at the moment, but his wife has been able to forgive me and I know she is not angry with me. I am so greatful to God for that. I just hope that Phil can see that this was necessary and is able to work on being honist with his wife and have a great life with her. I have been through more in the past year and a half then my brain can handle, but I think that the worst is finally over! I have been set free!!! God has done great things in life and though I am still trying to pull them all out of all the bad things I have experienced, I feel like I can finally move on and live a normal life as a christian! Praise God for that!!!!