In my life...

Hey team,
I can't believe there are so many of you that I have hardly talked to since kaleo ended! There are times when I miss it so much. I miss praying with you guys, the chapels, the late nights, the foosball tourneys and the drives to Duncan. But I love what I learned during kaleo. What i learned from the Lord, from the profs, from our leaders and interns and from every one of you. I love you guys.

Anyways, now that I've got that over with I can fill you in on my life. After Kaleo ended I came home for 10 days and then headed back to Qwanoes on April 31st and was there all the way through the summer. Being a counselor at camp all summer was something I couldn't really picture myself doing, but I loved it. I had some of the raddest guys ever in my cabin and the Lord worked through me in unbelievable ways. By the end of it I was ready to move on though. I hadn't really been home much for a year and I was beginning to miss it...

Since being home it's been awesome to recconect with friends and meet tons of cool new people, but it's been so difficult to keep the Lord in the center of everything that I am doing. Last week at church the pastor who was speaking mentioned how when he was in India he was invited into a man's house and the man showed him the room where they would worship. There was a shelf with all of that family's idols on it and the man began naming those gods. As he came to the end of the shelf the he out the last two gods who were Jesus and Mary. I feel like this is exactly what I have been doing with Jesus. He is just another god that I've placed on the shelf. Rather than infultrating every area of how I live he himself has become just another part of my life. Lately I've been blessed so much in gatherings with other believers but on a personal level my walk with the Lord has been lacking and I have not been pro-active in serving him. I have simply been recieving, rather than giving what I have to others. Honestly I feel like I'm in limbo right now. It's like I'm in an in between stage between camp and, well, whatever comes next. My plan right now is to be overseas serving somewhere as soon as I possibly can. But so often I feel like I want to go overseas to serve simply because it's easier to follow the Lord when I have one mission that I am focused on, rahter than trying to find different ways to serve the Lord daily. I suppose if I am serving and walking in a manner worthy of the calling which I've recieved then there wouldn't be anything wrong with simply joining with some missions team in India (or wherever), but I feel like it's the easy way out. If it were up to me, I would not be in Maple Ridge right now but I would be in India or Africa, or even down town in some big city where I was daily involved in missions for the Lord. I don't know what else to say. I want to be involved in full time ministry, but I do not kow where the Lord wants me or when I should go, or if the Lord is truly calling me to do this, or if it's just me taking the easy route. I want these answers from the Lord, but I'm not finding them because i haven't been spending time with him lately because I've put him on the shelf with so many other gods and he's probably the most dusty, neglected one of the bunch.

it's funny, as I started this blog I had no idea what I wanted to blog about and this came out. It's probably incredibly random but that's what's on my heart and mind lately. I wish I could end this by saying that I pray for all of you often, but that just wouldn't be true. I do think of you often though, and I hope I will begin to pray for you more.

PS. I try and blog often here: paulalexanderrobinson.blogspot.com